The Pilgrim and the Condom

So, according to the almighty sex expert, Pope Benedict XVI, condoms lead to riskier sexual behaviors and therefore contribute to the spread of AIDS. Wow, talk about insight. His answer is that fidelity and abstinence are the true ways of halting the spread of the disease. I can't argue with this logic it is certainly true that if one doesn't screw around and one keeps his weapon in its holster, there is very limited risk of become HIV positive. But, to accept this logic, you must accept the premise that all human beings are capable of long term fidelity and abstinence. History has proven time and again that this is not the case. Actually, even the pope's own have been known to dip their stick now and again, with no regard for their vow of celibate chastity. Knowing that, the Pope still expects mere mortals to be able to do what so-called men of god cannot?
If this wasn't so tragic it would actually be funny. Maybe the condom comment was meant to refer to the universally known parable "The Pilgrim and the Condom". If I remember correctly, the story goes something like this:
A poor pilgrim was walking along a sun drenched road. As he was reaching the apex of a hill, he noticed a man struggling with a small package. Coming closer, the Pilgrim said: "Man, what is the cause of your difficulties?". The man, looking a bit surprised by the pilgrim's question answered: "I am about to rape a woman in the village below but wish to wear a condom to ensure I don't catch anything". The pilgrim was taken aback. After giving some thought to the situation, he said to the man: "Man, don't you know that a condom cannot protect you? Only god can do that!". Upon hearing that, the man dropped the package, fell to his knees and prayed for god's protection; after which he ran down the hill and started raping the woman. With the man gone, the pilgrim picked up the package, opened it and removed the two condoms it contained. His feet were in bad shape from having walked so many miles and he saw the condoms as a decent alternative to socks. He therefore sat down and proceeded to put them on. Although it was difficult to slide his feet into then, he found that they provided a comfortable fit. As he started back on his way, he began to slide downhill on his lubricated socks. He slid faster and faster until finally the condoms pierced, causing him to brake suddenly and fly head first into the village below. His flight came to an abrupt end when his face met the man's butt, naked for the occasion as he was still busy taking care of business.
The moral of this parable is threefold: first, it's easy to give advice when you don't having to deal with the consequences; second is you should always practice what you preach; and third is you should never put your nose is other people's business.

The Lost Generation

Reading an article in the paper yesterday, it suddenly seemed obvious: for all intents and purposes, we are dealing with a lost generation; lost for lack of discipline, lost for being spoiled, lost for having never heard "no", lost for ever being adolescent. The article discussed how police forces around the province are having difficulty with their new recruits. It mentioned that these recruits do not respect authority, argue with their superior, are not willing to accept their assignments, etc.
That's really scary but, in a way, not surprising. It's been brewing in families all over the world for a few decades now. Parents, too busy with their own pursuit of wealth and happiness, have forgotten that children need to be raised. It is so much easier to be buddy-bubby than it is to enforce discipline; so much easier to buy a new toy than to spend time and get involved... The end result of this is that we, as a society, are faced with a generation of eternal teenagers, unable to mature, expecting everything but not willing to invest anything.
I know this is a generalization; that there are great young people out there, but the fact is there are more leeches now than ever before. Every family has a story of a young adult who still lives with his parents, not because he (or she) cannot afford to live on his (or her) own, but just because it's so nice to have mom and dad do the groceries, cook dinner, make the bed and do the laundry....
I am concerned with our future. We can't afford to not only loose productivity from able bodied youth but also have to support them, over and above those who already need to be supported.
What's the answer? I really don't have a clue. There is no quick fix for a problem that's been in the works for 40+ years. The solution must start with the parents but it is difficult to expect the lost generation will be better parents than their own.
My hope is that, over time, they will learn to become responsible, productive members of society. Otherwise, I am condemned to work until I die because there will be no one to replace me.

Clichés

Challenge to myself: is it possible to write a text using only clichés, these sound bites that are so abused, they no longer really mean anything.

I feel up to the challenge, I will take the bull by the horns and give it 110%. After all, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. If I stick to the game plan, everything should work out in the end. Just let the chips fall where they because, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. As my mother use to say, practice makes perfect. So, let me roll up my sleeves and I will take no prisoners. To hell with the collateral damages, I will forge ahead. I know I must take it one step at a time. So, here we go. If I fail miserably, I need to remember that every cloud has a silver lining. On the other end, if I do succeed, I must not rest on my laurels. Life is like a box of chocolate!

The other day I saw my friend Robert, he looked depressed. The following conversation ensued:
- Hey Rob, you look down in the dumps!
- Hey Sabin, I guess you could say that. The shit hit the fan at work today. I learned the hard way that the boss is always right, even when he's wrong.
- Come on Rob, something good always come out of something bad. Maybe it's time for a change. You could tell your boss to take his job and shove it.
- I wish I could, but money doesn't grow on trees. If I bite the hand that feeds me, I will be in the doghouse at home. I have mouths to feed you know.
- Yeah, I see your point. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. Just let the dust settle at work and see where you stand.
- My sentiments exactly. In a week it will all be water under the bridge. It's just that right now I feel like I'm up shit creek.
- Lay low, keep a watchful eye and don't rock the boat. Better safe than sorry.
- Look who's calling the kettle black! You're like the poster child for people who stir the pot.
- Come on Rob, that was eons ago. I was young and innocent. And it wasn't my fault if my boss could talk the talk but could not walk the walk, so I spoke my mind and was given my walking papers...

Wow, thought this would be really difficult but actually, it's not that hard! There are so many clichés, someone could write a whole book with them. Now I know how athletes can talk for hours and say nothing! Since I mastered the art of using clichés, I should work on inventing a new one. Watch for it in a future post!

Man's greatest invention

Weird thought bouncing around in my head today. I keep coming back to asking myself what I would consider to be man's greatest invention. Not an easy one. For one thing, "greatest" needs to be defined: does it mean the most important in terms of use, impact on the human race, universality, etc. It's probably a mix of all of these and others I haven't thought of yet.

So, considering this, what great inventions come to mind? Certainly the wheel is important, it is still used everywhere using more or less the same basic architecture as in its very beginning. Writing is another key one; it certainly developed independently in many societies, showing that it is an essential part of our humanity. If we go back further, we could say speech and vocabulary; after all we couldn't communicate otherwise. All these are great in their own right and I am sure we could think of hundreds more to add. That being said, I think Man's greatest invention, in terms of universality, impact and usage must be the concept of God. Every society, ethnic group, tribe I know of has gods of some form or another. These gods serves many purposes: blamed for misfortunes, praised for good fortunes, begged for mercy or victory, etc. The concept of god has help many generations of human beings navigate through life's events, confront its trials and tribulations, in a word, make sense of their existence. As inventions go, it's a pretty good one. I wish I had a patent on that concept! Imagine the riches!

So, if at a certain level the concept of god is a valued invention, it looses it value when it becomes a cause for war, a way to justify ignorance, a means to segregate people. Gods were invented to help people in their daily lives, not to take those lives away or make them miserable. We should go back to the true reason why gods were created and find some common ground between all religions, accepting that none of them have exclusive rights on the truth.

Wasting Time

Picture this: you're sitting quietly, watching this documentary on the rise and fall of the stucco ceilings. At first you think the subject matter is quite promising but, when the expert starts explaining that stucco stalactites in 70's basements were actually phallic representations, you suddenly realize you wasted 2 hours of your life... Two hours you would never get back or, at best, would be added on to the end of your life which you may not want to extend anyway (who wants an additional 2 hours of agony in a hospital?)! Like most people, I don't like wasting my time but I often only realize that I've wasted it after the fact, once things are said and done.

Time wasting was not always an issue with me. When I was young, I could spend hours playing with my GI Joe or waiting to catch a glimpse of my cute neighbor. But, when I was around 16 or so, I was really hit hard by the lyrics of Pink Floyd's song "Time". At one point it says: "... shorter of breath and one day closer to death...". Wow, really powerful stuff. Give me that any day over "My love will go on..."! How many songs can be written with the word love? I know love is important but isn't there a limit? Considering that sleep and food are as important if not more so than love, why aren't there more songs about that? Something like "...Fell asleep on the couch, woke up to the sounds of Lawrence Welk...". Back to the point though, I can actually remember where I was when I understood the full meaning of those lyrics (driving west on Boulevard Forest, near the Hospital, on a clear spring day). Life is finite, there is no escaping that fact but, when your a 16 year old kid, realizing it is a rude awakening. From that point on, I tried to use my time as if it was something precious, although I must admit my prioritization was not always the best.

Now that I think of it though, wasting time in itself may sometimes be a worthwhile. On a few occasions, wasting time has allowed my to get my mind off of life's usual crap or, just for a time, made me feel like a kid again; and that can't be all that bad!

Vanquishing the demon that haunts you

Someone told me a long time ago that, unless you face up to it and vanquish it, the demon(s) that haunts you will always come back. Avoidance, transfer and the likes may be great for risk management but they don't help when it comes to getting rid of that evil. This mean spirit can take many forms: for some its alcohol, for others it's gambling, sex, food, authority, family, neighbours, etc. For me, it's Ontario drivers... I know, this may sound strange but it's true; whether I need to get somewhere in a hurry or am taking a Sunday drive on some lonely road, I always end up right smack in the back of an Ontario driver. It's now at a point where I am considering having "Yours to Discover" etched on my tombstone... For those of you who don't know Ontario drivers, let's just say that they tend to drive slow in the left lane, accelerate when the road is straight and brake like hell in a curve. Most people probably wouldn't even give it a second thought. I, on the other hand, get angry, frustrated, aggressive.

I know I shouldn't react that way but I just can't help it. I need to find a way of slaying that dragon but don't really know how. I try to tell myself that they are not doing this just to piss me off, that they have as much a right as I to use the highway, that they are doing their best but, in the end, the result is the same: my blood boils! I do recognize the problem doesn't lie with all 4 million or so Ontario drivers but with the guy driving my car (read: me); I believe that's a good start. Next step may be to join ODA (Ontario Driver Anonymous), if such a group exists...

The time may be ripe for a human race vasectomy

Everywhere I look, listen, smell, touch, taste and proprioceptionize, someone seems to be telling us what a screwed up world we will be leaving our children and our children's children. In a way, I imagine these people are right. With pollution, changes in weather, national and personal debt, overuse of Earth's resources, ozone layer, overpopulation, diseases, war, terrorism and all; it's hard to imagine things will ever get better.

So why keep having children? It certainly seems like a valid question. The obvious first answer is that we really like having sex! The less obvious second answer is that we are genetically programmed to have children; in essence it is our only real reason for living. The "going out on a limb", not politically correct third answer is that, at least in Western societies, having children is the thing one does after having bought the BMW and the house with the 3-car garage to ensure one doesn't grow old alone. Are any of the reasons important enough to keep having children? What if we decided to vasectomize every male on the planet by some mean or other? What if we could ensure every man is sterilized before reaching his reproductive years? This way we could go out with a bang, consume like mad without having to think of the future.

Something inside me is saying that it would be morally wrong to do this but then, isn't it morally wrong to bring a baby in this world knowing what the future holds? Maybe that's the answer. Do we really know what the future holds? Can we, with certainty, say there is no hope? What if people facing the Black Death century had stopped having children? How about after WWI or when Genghis Kahn was knocking at our doors? Throughout our history, there are hundreds upon hundreds of periods where we could have decided to stop going but we did not because of one reason alone: hope.

When it comes down to it, I think in every generation there are people concerned with the world we will be leaving behind for the following generation. We need to listen to them and make sure we try our best but, in the end, there is always hope.